|The Colbert Report||Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement|
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recently released a statement on the Zombie Apocolypse.
According the most trusted source in the world – The Colbert Report (see embedded video to the right – starting at 1:30 – subscribers may need to click through) the CDC released this statement:
“CDC Does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms.)”
I get a bit worried when the CDC decides they need to weigh in.
Isn’t this how a cover–up starts – with a denial?
Well the CDC may “say” they don’t know of a condition that causes zombie-ism – but google maps sure does.
That’s right – they are tracking zombie attacks in google maps.
Now…we all know zombie attacks are a true threat to our society and to our American way of life. But if you hole up on an island or at CostCo you can probably survive.
But what if you have to go to work?
Unfortunately the virus has now jumped from humans… to organizations.
The virus is trans-species and trans-organizational
And it isn’t pretty.
Based on my unbiased review of the programs corporate America is running I’m seeing more and more outbreaks of Zombie Recognition and Reward programs. Whether it is the overcrowding of statistics about recognition on blogs and in twitter streams or the ongoing resharing of Dan-Pinkisms – corporate America has jumped on the Zombie bandwagon with both broken and festering feet.
But you can guard yourself from being consumed by Zombie Recognition and Rewards by recognizing the early warning signs and doing something about it before it is too late.
The first warning sign is if you’ve designed your program based on “best practices” that worked in another company. That is self-infection. You’ve taken a good virus for Company A and put it in Company B – that will cause the program to morph and mutate. Successful programs can’t be dragged from one company and dropped into another culture or company. Each program is a function of the goals, objectives, mission and values of the host company. Transplanting them is bad corporate medicine.
Second – has your program just run on-and-on-and-on? Have people stopped paying attention to it? Have your recognition events become death marches where everyone would rather be eaten by real zombies than sit through another Vice President drone on about how “good” a person is in “general?” Zombie programs are like real zombies. They never know when it’s time to just die.
Third – was your program designed by someone selling plaques and vases? Is the “award” the largest line item on your budget? If so you’ve been infected. You’ve been bitten by a carrier company who makes their living – like a parasite or virus – off your money. They can only exist if you continue to buy trophies and trips or guitars and gift cards. The good news is you can rid yourself of the disease the minute you get them detached from your systems. They can’t survive without your budget.
Be prepared. Be forewarned. Be careful.
No one ever believes that there is a zombie apocalypse until it’s too late.
No one one ever thinks they are infected with a zombie rewards program – until the only people left in the company are the people you wish had been eaten in the zombie apocalypse. Remember – zombies want brains – the smart ones are the first to go.
Originally posted on on Incentive Intelligence